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Choosing the Parent You Want to Be

How do we learn all the dynamic roles we are to fill in this life? Where does our personal education for life skills happen?

From our caregivers. From those in this world meant to raise us, guide us, support us, love us & nourish us.

But what happens if they don't know? Or what if they think they know - only from the person who taught them? What happens when our teachers, themselves, struggled to learn to love? Or when our support & guidance is fragmented? Or worse yet - what happens when our primary examples of how to be human, how to bond, how to love, how to cope ... have been misguided themselves?

How many of us struggle as women, mothers, partners....or even just a person? We struggle in relationships, our careers or work, our ability to deal with crisis, our finances, our resilience & recovery, our self confidence, our happiness... We look back on the examples set for us and know our teachers didn't offer what we needed to Thrive in these roles.

Our education in life continues for as long as we are alive. It is never too late to change course, carve a new path and be the incredible example of strength & love your own student needs to learn to Thrive.

Be the mother, guide, woman, person you want your daughter to have - even if you didn't.

I was fortunate. It's not luck. It was a mix of being prepared & seeing the opportunity. "She's so well bonded!" Is an unusual compliment I have heard more than a handful of times in reference to my daughter & I. I'm often a little shocked when someone can tell, and knows what it means.

My daughter does not have anxious, avoidant or disorganized attachment. She is securely bonded.

Again, I didn't stumble on this by luck. I did it on purpose.

I worked at it. It was a conscious effort. I did the research. I put in the time. I paid attention. And it's not a f*cking cake walk. Especially.... when you weren't raised with it, as a child, yourself.

It takes self awareness, it takes learning to repair (even with a 2, 3, 4, 5 year old,) it takes patience and compassion. All things we are supposed to learn from our parents.

But maybe you didn't? It doesn't mean you can't. I'm the proof.

There are ways to build those skills and even correct the current course of your relationship with yourself, your kids and anyone/everyone else in your life. Contact me at Pretty Aggressive Recovery Coaching. I help women build after being raised with toxic, abusive or poorly bonded parenting.


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If you would like to start building your Core Resiliency Skills contact Coach Julia today. You will learn how to Thrive beyond your damage, become a Transitional Character, break abuse cycles in your family cycle & build the core resiliency skills most often missed when being raised in a low nurture environment.

Julia is a Holistic Health Consultant, holding a Double Diploma in Community Support & Addictions Work, is a Certified Transformation Specialist, Personal Trainer & Nutrition Coach & a Lvl 2 Reiki Practitioner. She specializes in Trauma Informed Practice & Resiliency Coaching and Holistic Pregnancy & Postpartum Health Coaching. 

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